Retail Therapy

I got paid a few days ago. I've got in the habit now of making a list just before pay-day of the things I need to get within the coming month. I try to get as many as possible soon after my wages are in, in case I run out of money by the end and miss out on an essential. This month there were one or two items on this list and I was able to order them all online straight away.

1. Tesco Delivery. Well, not really a single item, but still an essential. Makes logical sense to me to stock up the cupboard and freezer as soon as I have the necessary funds. If I find myself penniless before the end of the month, at least I won't starve. It arrived last night at 10.15pm (it was supposed to arrive between 8pm and 10pm). The delivery driver was a young, blonde female and she looked really upset she was late, and very stressed, so I let her off :) Nothing else to report about the delivery though - no damaged bread-mix, nothing missing - all as ordered.

2. DVD Player. When I first moved to Southampton I didn't bring my old player with me. Too much extra weight, and besides you can pick up machines now for under ten pounds. That was exactly what I did do. The first week I was here I nipped into Currys and purchased a small, black DVD players for £9.99 It lasted over 8 months, so I got my money's worth. Now that it's broken though I needed a replacement ASAP. I ordered a 'warehouse clearance' one from Amazon online which would also play my American discs too. Finally a chance to work through my Poirot DVDs again!

The player arrived yesterday. Like a kid at Christmas I ripped off all the packaging, lifted out the sleek, black unit and plugged it in. I was really impressed with it's look, and for £20 I couldn't have asked for better value. Now to watch a film....

...but where is the remote control? In fact, where is the manual? (note to female readers: see what I did there? DVD player was plugged in, connected and turned on before I noticed the manual was missing!)

Next day I got in touch with Amazon and was told they can't send a remote for me as it was a 'warehouse clearance' item. Only option is to pack it all back up, ship it back to them and they will send a refund, including postage. All refunds take upto 30 days to process. I've decided to keep it and use it in my bedroom. I can use the play and stop button on the front of the player itself. Only thing I can't do is move around a menu screen if I want to select another DVD option. I have to look at the big picture though, a multi-region DVD player for £20 is still a bargain.

3. My favourite... a hand-held vacuum cleaner. The cleaner that came with the flat is pathetic. It's held together with parcel tape and has no suction power at all. What I really needed was something I could whizz around the edges of the rooms to pick up fluff. I have a constant battle against fluff. I blame lamenant flooring personally. I did a quick internet search and came across this...

I can't really do it justice in a single pic. It is a perfect cylinder, and when it is left to charge it glows an eerie white, like a child's night-light. Very space age, I have never seen anything like it. The top part lifts out of the base unit, the lights go off and you have a very powerful vacuum cleaner. Pop it back into the base unit for charging, and the light comes back on. I am completely blown away by it. It doesn't take much to amuse me :)

4. A new docking station for my ipod shuffle. When we moved office from one room to another, someone kindly stood on my old ipod connecting lead and rendered it unuseable. This has meant for over a week I've had no music to help with my walk to and from work, or when I go to the shops. Now I have a replacement, and I have to admit it's better than the original. This one plugs directly into my PC, like a memory stick, so no trailing cables to worry about. I can't really kick up a fuss about the broken one. Pete and Michael moved the office between them because I was still on holiday. They saved me from a lot of heavy removal work.

So there you have it, my retail therapy for August. I've put a bit of money aside for my racing trip, and a little bit into my ISA. Roll on, end of August though....

...My next pay-day spending spree will all be based in Norfolk!

My Ever Growing Army

It didn't take long, but my two raw recruits are ready to be trained in the fine art of odds compiling. They both start with an introduction session on Friday and then hit the ground running from Monday onwards.

I'm really pleased with my selection. I'm not being big headed but already I can see them fitting right in with our little team and our relaxed and almost unique working atmosphere. If I step back and look at the big picture I am lucky with the job I have and the environment I work in. Where else can you surf the internet all day, watch satellite TV and DVDs, listen to music, wear whatever you feel most comfortable in and still go home with a generous pay-packet?

The new additions are Tom and Moritz (don't laugh, that really is his name). Both sports mad and keen to get started. Assuming they take to the training like Pete did (my first assistant) they will be up and running well before the end of the month. I have an incentive this time. If they aren't fully trained by the time I go on holiday I said I'd be on call for any problems...

...and I don't want to be disturbed when I'm cruising the waterways of Norfolk.

Happy Birthday Blog !!

It's arrived! Blog entry number 100. As predected back in March it's arrived right at the end of July. A century of random thoughts, feelings, silliness and cooking tips. As promised, here are some quite interesting things you never needed to know about the number 100.

Words that begin 'Cent' or 'Centi' are generally related to the number 100, but this isn't always the case. In several instances it refers to 'a large number like 100'. A centurion for example was never in charge of 100 men, it was usually more like 80. There is no species of centipede that has exactly 100 legs either.

The search engine Google gets it's name from the title given to the number 1 followed by 100 zeros. (although that's spelt Googol) The word was 'invented' by the 9 year old nephew of mathematician Edward Kasner.

The 100th day of a non-leap year is April 10th, the day The Titanic set sail from Southampton on it's one and only journey.

The 100 years war was fought between France and England, but actually ran for nearly 116 years.

The game of draughts (or checkers if you're a yank) in Poland is played on a board of 100 squares with 40 pieces. The rules are exactly the same though.

100 is the sum of the first 10 odd numbers, 1 to 19. Go on, try it :)

It's also the sum of the first 4 cube numbers. (3, 8, 27 and 64)

The US Senate has 100 members, 2 for each State.

For you sport fans, 100 yards is the minimum distance from tee to flag for a Par 3 golf hole. It's also the length of an American Football pitch (not including the end bits)

Dialling 100 in the UK gets you through to the operator, but in Greece, India and Israel you'd get the police. In Belgium, you'd get through to the ambulance and fire departments.

Ok, so 100 isn't any more exciting than 52 was, but at least I didn't miss it this time. Thanks for sticking with the blog loyal readers.

What can you expect form the next 100? My two day racing extravaganza in a couple of weeks time, the much talked about trip to Wroxham and horny Horning, the two new staff members joining my team (and how the training is going). In November there is definately a theatre trip planned and in between, lots of completely irrelevant banter to keep you all amused.

I'll also keep you informed of my egg exploits - poached next I think - and of course let you all know how Bob and Roberta are coping.

Sarah-Jayne Part III

She's constantly on my mind. Both her and Caoimhe. Must be love :)

I am really looking forward to our break to Norfolk. Another chance to spend time together as a family, this time with scenery I know and love. I just wish these short periods together weren't seperated by long times apart. I haven't even thought about when I'm going to get to see them both again after this holiday.

We have talked about going away for Christmas. At first I thought it wouldn't be possible because of work, but now I'm about to recruit two new staff members it's highly likely I can take the Christmas period off. Would be lovely to take them both away for a week so we can be together at that special time. Doesn't help me plan what we do inbetween though.

Long distance relationships always conjure up two proverbs in my head:

"Out of sight, out of mind" &

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder"

I can assure you, with my feelings for Sarah - it is definately the latter. Our personalities have enough in common to make being together a wonderful time. We also have enough differences to make sure it never becomes dull. We are not 'peas in a pod', but at the same time we are definately not 'chalk and cheese' I can make her laugh with nothing more than a comical humming sound, or impression of Caoimhe - and making Sarah laugh instantly makes me laugh too. The simplest things can amuse us both for hours.

We don't see each other enough, but being 320 miles apart with a sea inbetween us doesn't help.
We don't talk to each other enough, but exorbitant phone charges don't help.

Sarah is a beautiful woman, a wonderful mum and an excellent girlfriend. I probably don't say any of those things often enough either. I thought the fuzzy tummy feeling would pass after a few weeks, but it's still there, everytime I think about her....

...I love you Sarah x

Interview Part II

Well the moment has finally arrived, I'm interviewing for two more members of my team. It's only taken 9 months to get round to it.

This time around we spared no expense and ran a single advert in the local Southampton Echo newspaper. Within two weeks we had nearly 50 applicants. Compare this to last December when we posted a single advert at the job centre and received a mammoth..... 2 responses.

After sifting through the CVs, covering notes, begging letters and bribes I managed to whittle the 50 down to 9. I called them up and arranged interviews, most of which I have now completed. (I've had one no-show, but out of 9 that's not a bad statistic). The hardest thing is now trimming the 8 I've seen down to two future staff members.

I think for the sake of privacy it would be wrong of me to go into details about each candidate, but what I can say is that choosing the top pair was an almost impossible task. I think the main problem is that I was only seeing the positive in people. If I found a fault I was calculating in my head how we could get round it. Everyone I interviewed had something good about them, and I could easily picture me training them for the next few weeks.

...oh except for one. I'll simply call him "Mr P". From the moment he sat down he kept spinning round on his chair. He spent most of his time looking around the office and asking about the TV systems we had. If I didn't know better I'd think he was casing the joint for a future burglary! At least that was one I could cross off the list.

I have narrowed it down though. Both are young (so we can get them cheap), and both live very close by (so early starts won't be a problem). Both have excellent numeracy skills and a passion for sport. One of them has a German A-Level (trust me, for this job that's important), and the other actually is German! Neither have to give notice at an existing job so by 1st August I could be the manager of a full team of odds compilers....

...about bloody time!

The Future's Shite - The Future's Orange Part II

After another 40 minute conversation with Orange, it appears that the Isle of Man has officially moved abroad. Despite the fact the website has no info on this, and despite the fact other networks don't charge you differently, Orange believe all texts to IOM should be charged at an International rate.

...so at the present moment a single text to Sarah costs me 20pence instead of 3pence.

I'm not getting a refund, I'm not getting an apology and they can't explain further. All they said was that I 'was lucky' to have only been charged the lower rate in the past.

Bye Bye Orange. My days with you as a provider as now coming to an end. I would say it was good while it lasted...

...but that would be a complete lie you bunch of thieving, money-grabbing parasites.

Rant over (for now)

The Holy Grail of the Kitchen Part II

It's always eggs isn't it. Why do I have such a problem with eggs? This time, it was the simple task of boiling an egg to dip my soliders in that caused the trauma.

Sarah had kindly treated me to a set of 4 novelty egg cups when she was over with Caoimhe. The day before yesterday I decided to road test one of them by boiling an egg and making some toast soldiers for good measure. I'm not sure that I've ever boiled an egg before , but it can't be that difficult. From what I can remember it goes something like this:

Place a pan of water on the hob.
Switch the hob on.
Wait til the first bubble comes to the surface.
Add egg
Remove egg after three minutes.
Eat soft boiled egg.

Step 1. No problem.
Step 2. No problem (well actually I turned the wrong ring on first, but it didn't take me long to realise when I could smell burning plastic coming from my melting spatular)
Step 3. I was a bit unsure here, didn't know what constituted a proper 'bubble'. Almost as soon as I'd turned the heat on there were bubbles, but I waited longer than that. After about 4 minutes there were proper 'big' bubbles, so I took this to mean the water was ready.
Step 4. Hmm. My egg seemed to be the wrong shape for my tongs, but after some careful co-ordination I managed to pick it up and lower it into the pan.
Step 5. I went back to watching Frasier on TV and used the clock in the corner of the screen to time my egg. After 3 full minutes I returned to the kitchen, removed the pan from the heat and lifted the egg from the pan using a spoon.
Step 6. Not a chance. I managed to get the egg into the cup, but found that my little egg was far too small for it's holder. Only a few millimetres of shell was showing over the rim of the cup! Never mind, I took a knife and gently tapped at the side. The shell cracked neatly all the way round and I lifted the 'lid' off....

...the egg was almost raw. There was a thin coating of 'white' around the edges, but the central yolk was liquid, and the remainder of the egg white was still clear. What a waste of an egg.....

.... but no. I whipped out my frying pan, added a little oil, used the hob that was still hot from the boiling water and poured the uncooked boiled egg in. Fried egg instead of boiled. I assume my problem was my interpretation of what was boling water, and what was mearly hot water. Never mind...

...at least the egg didn't go to waste.

p.s. I have boiled eggs actually. When I worked in the sandwich shop in Douglas. Problem there though was it was 60 eggs at a time, and we left them on til their shells cracked naturally because we needed them to be hard boiled. Not quite the same.

The Future's Shite - The Future's Orange

This is a large-scale rant at the incompetence of Orange, the multinational communications company.

Since I moved to the South Coast I have been using an Orange pay-as-you-go SIM card for my mobile phone. No real problems, easy to top up, cheap calls - everything was going along smoothly. Most of my texting and calling was to the Isle of Man, intially Jackie and since April to Sarah. I was able to 'buy' 500 texts for £15 meaning a single text was as low as 3 pence....

...then it all went pear-shaped. Last week I purchased another 500 texts. I tried to text Sarah but it wasn't sending properly. After a bit of investigation I realised that Isle of Man texts were now costing me 20 pence, Orange's international rate, and my 'free' texts were not being used up. Naturally I was furious. Had the Isle of Man suddenly floated away from the coast of Great Britain? Did I need a passport and visa to step off the ferry? I phoned Orange's 'help' line...

...35 minutes later and a lot of hair pulling I was told that my problem has been passed to the billing department. I would receive a response within 48 hours and any appropriate refund would be made to my account. This is the text message I received two days later (written EXACTLY as it was sent):

Hi, regarding text message getting charged when sending outside...the billing team enquired that multibundle that's been added is only for uk...no refund...thanx

Imagine getting a message like that from a supposedly worldwide firm. Not only was it poorly written, it didn't even answer the right question. I had to call back...

...After another 35 minute conversation I finally managed to get the operator to understand my problem. When he looked back at a previous text to IOM he could see it cost me 10 pence, and last week the same number had cost me 20 pence. Initially he was looking at a text I sent to Ireland. Neither this staff member, or the previous one could get their heads around the concept of the Isle of Man. Again he said he would pass it on to the billing department so I wait with baited breath for another wonderfully crafted message from them.

...rant over (unless the problem doesn't get fixed soon)

The Real Hustle

This entry should really have been made about 2 weeks ago, but with one thing and another it slipped my mind. Take yourself back to a week last Friday (4th July). I was finishing up at work and about to start my holiday...

...it was late - very late in fact, past midnight I think. I left the office and picked up a small chinese take-away from across the road. (If you need a full picture it was hot & sour soup, special foo-yung and a portion of chips) As I set off down the road I was approached by a man who walked with a distinctive swagger. If I didn't know better I'd say he was a little bit tipsy. As he got closer I noticed his face was caked in dried blood. Perhaps the swagger wasn't alcohol induced after all.

"Where's my wallet?"

That was his opening line. No "Hello, how are you?" or "Nice weather for the time of year", just

"Where's my wallet?"

Normally I would have politely replied and then quickened up my pace but the blood was worrying me. It wasn't fake and if he's lost his wallet this might not be the result of a bar fight. Perhpas he'd been mugged. In the back of my mind I knew we were only a few yards from where a yound girl had been badly attacked a few months back.

I decided to be firm and direct.

"Do you need help. Can I get the police or an ambulance for you?"

"Where's my wallet? Have you got my wallet?"

"No, I haven't seen your wallet but you need help. Do you want the police?"

"Some bastard has run off with my wallet" (sorry for the profanity but I'm trying to keep it as real as possible)

"Ok, I'm calling the police. Rest against the railings there."

At this point he seemed quite calm and waited whilst I spoke to the police. I did my best to describe the situation, the hardest part was when they asked for my location. In the end I directed the operator via the pubs I knew. (typical eh?)

As soon as I hung up I turned to the injured man and found him ferreting around in a small bush at the side of the railings. Within seconds he'd pocketed something and flew at top speed down the road. Now I was stranded. I had a police car on it's way, possibly an ambulance, but no injured man. Just me and my chinese take-away (which by this point was starting to get cold).

My mobile rang. It was the police operator calling me back.

"I'm glad you called back. I think I've been caught out by some kind of scam or hoax. As soon as I hung up he ran off down Canute Road"

"Thought so", she replied, "You're the second call we've had tonight about a blood stained individual.

"I don't understand though, he never asked for money, he just seemed to want his wallet back, but I think he had it hidden in the bushes."

"Important thing is sir, do you still have your wallet?"

If only you could have seen my face then. Frantically I tapped all my pockets. Thankfully my wallet was still buried deep in my overcoat. The operator praised me for calling and after taking a description of the man she said it was ok for me to go home. I was worried that an ambulance was going to turn up and I would be charged with wasting police time, but the ambulance had been cancelled. A patrol car would circle the area to see if they could pick up the man. I think the operator was hungry because when I said I was off to warm up my take-away she kept me on the phone for another 2 minutes while she made me describe what I had ordered!

..but I'm still unsure as to what the scam or hustle was. Was he going to pick-pocket me? Was he going to try and get friendly with me and then ask to borrow taxi fare or something? Why did he let me call the emergency services if he was a crook? Guess I'll never know but...

...it has made me less likely to help out a stranger in the future.

Tara

Another entry relating to my time off work! You'll be getting sick of these soon.

On the Sunday, Tara came to visit me. I haven't seen her for more than 5 years when she left the Isle of Man to relocate to Ireland. We worked together at HSBC for several years before that and always got on really well.

It was so lovely to see her again. The short time she was over just flew past as we reminised about old times and old friends. After a meal together in the local pub with Sarah and baby, We had the chance to stay out for a few more drinks in the evening, so we really made the most of the time we had. It was also the first occasion I'd been out in Southampton after hours since I got here, so that was an added bonus!

She left the next day, but hopefully it won't be long before I see her again. Could be a good excuse for a trip over to Ireland. :o)

She hasn't changed a bit. She was always a great friend and still is. I'm so glad she managed to track me down and make contact. Good friends don't come along very often, so it's important to hold on to them when they do.

She confirmed something for me too....

....my bed is impossible to sleep in successfully!

IOW vs IOM Part II

Well, not really a comparison between the islands this time, just an entry about my second adventure to the Isle of Wight.

On this occasion it was a spontaneous day visit on the fast-craft. I was really impressed with the efficiency of the loading and unloading of the boat. Considering the car ferry takes an hour for the trip over, with 30 minutes 'turn around time', the fast-craft is 23 minutes and only needs another 5 before it sets off again on the return leg. Granted it's only for foot passengers, and they can also get away without mooring it properly, but still... I was impressed.

The other major benefit of this vessle is that it docks in West Cowes. If you remember back to my previous Isle of Wight entry, the car ferry brings you into East Cowes - a proverbial dump. West Cowes, in stark contrast, is very beautiful. We just about had nice weather (a little chilly and overcast) but nothing to dampen our spirits.

After an energy boosting snack in a cafe, and a walk along the marina, we caught the bus to Newport, and then onto Ryde. Why has Ryde got so many charity shops? It was a little too windy for bucket and spades on the beach - and besides, I don't think Caoimhe's old enough to appreciate my sand sculptors just yet. After a constitutional drink, and a bit of window shopping we headed back to Newport.

Newport was surprisingly small. I somehow expected something a little 'bigger' considering it's the capital. After a look around the shops it was back to Cowes for the return ferry - home in time for tea. All in all a terrific day and I'm glad I decided to give the island a second chance.

....Eegon's cafe in West Cowes gets a big thumbs up for their bacon and egg butties.

Meeting the In-Laws

While Sarah and Caoimhe were with me, we all took a brief trip over to Jersey to visit her Father. He works there as a prison security guard. Understandably I was extremely nervous, it's always difficult to meet the family for the first time. To increase the tension, Sarah and her step-mother are not on very good speaking terms at the moment.

Thankfully it all seemed to go very well. Sarah's Dad was very pleasant towards me. I initially thought he was a little cold, but I was reassured that was just his way. The fact that he hadn't ripped off my arm and used it as a weapon against me was a good sign :o) We visited the war tunnels in the morning which was a fascinating experience and in the evening he cooked for us all. The tension was there but not as bad as it might have been. All in all it was a very pleasant trip. Ashley, Sarah's step-sister was very friendly and bubbly and everyone at the table kept the conversation flowing so there were no embarrassing silences.

Caoimhe was a star on the flights in and out of the island. On the first trip she was a little bit cranky before we took off, but on the return leg she slept right through. One thing to bear in mind though if you are planning a visit to the Channel Islands....

...Jersey airport security staff only have one brain cell between them.

Anybody Miss Me?

You may have realised that there hasn't been any new entries for a while. I do have a valid excuse this time. Sarah and Caoimhe have been over to visit me for the past ten days so I took the time off work, and hence didn't have computer access.

It's been wonderful. A chance to spend time as a family. Just doing normal day to day tasks with someone else there has been a real treat for me. I'm missing them both already, but it's only about 6 weeks til we meet up again to go to Norfolk.

Having Sarah here has taught me a few things about myself too. Some I probably already knew, but others were an interesting revalation:

1. I hate shopping. I knew I wasn't a fan of it, but now I know it's officially one of my least liked activities.

2. I can't cook jacket potatoes properly. Well I can, but not when they are all different sizes.

3. I can't hum the high note of the Midsomer Murders theme tune without making my eyes pop out of my head. This alone is enough to put certain people into fits of hysterical laughter.

4. My impression of a startled rabbit on a motorbike is scarily accurate. This can also have the same laughter effect.

5. I am a lot better dealing with babies than I thought I was. I had no problems with the feeding, winding, cuddling and putting Caoimhe to sleep. I admit I only changed one nappy, but I was happy to deal with the nappy sacks and sick moments. It probably helped that she is such a well behaved child.

6. I like Tiramisu, despite the fact it's coffee flavoured and I can't stand coffee.

....and 7. I know far too much about Jonathan Creek

General Update

I feel I need to update the world on where I am right now.

Firstly, I've had more response to the 'blog removed' entry than I had to any other post. I suppose it's natural to want to know the details of something bad. Those that need to know, are now informed to the details of the missing text. If anyone else is still curious, then please feel free to let the matter pass.

Secondly, I have attempted two more omelettes since my master class attempt. Both failures. I really think I've peaked in the egg based department. I'l stick to fried and scrambled from now on.

Thirdly, my current persona is quite high. I'm no longer in a 'bad place'. Largely this is to do with Sarah and Caoimhe coming to visit, but it also can be contributed to Tara tracking me down too. Tara is an old work mate from the early HSBC days. Such a lovely person to work with, it's going to be great to have a chance to catch up on missed gossip.

I won't hide the fact that I don't like myself. I'm not proud of the way I've led my life, but I'm trying my best to get out of the rut. It's going to take time, and I'm not always confident I'm strong enough to make it, but every day that passes is a day closer to the end of the tunnel.

Thank you to everyone who has been there for me so far. Please remember though that this blog is a personal record for me. I welcome feedback, comments, support - even criticism if it's constructive - but please leave it as comments on the blog. My feelings are open, so any feeback you have should be open too. If you read something that you feel needs to be addressed then leave a 'comment'.

...I love you all x

The Holy Grail of the Kitchen

After years of trying, I conquered my demons and fulfilled my destiny. Last night I finally made a perfect omelette.

I'm not a bad cook. I know how to follow a recipe and I make a pretty decent Sunday lunch but I have never been able to make an omelette successfully. Every time I've tried, it's always turned into scrambled egg. There has always been an issue when it comes to the folding bit and no matter what I do the omelette has always broken up. The food hasn't gone to waste, it still remains edible, it's just the lack of presentation that was alluding me.

I had tried everything. Varying how hard I beat the eggs, adding the filling at different stages, using different sized pans, trying an array of heat settings - you name it, I've given it a whirl. Always the same result though... oeufs brouilles.

Last night as it approached midnight I decided I was hungry. I realised I hadn't eaten anything all day except for a small sausage roll and a chopped up apple at work. I needed something quick and easy so another attempt at a cheese omelette it would be. Resigning myself to the fact I would actually be snacking on an eggy mush I set to work.

Instead of going at it like a military operation I just went with what ever 'felt right'. Set the pan warming, added a little oil. Whilst that heated I beat three eggs in a pyrex jug and added a bit of black pepper. I grated some cheese in readiness and went for it.

Poured the eggs into the pan, moved it around, lifted the edge occasionally to allow excess liquid to flow. I added the cheese to one side and then lifted one side with my spatula....it lifted in one, light, piece.

I folded it over and the underside was a gorgeous golden brown, an even colour right across the whole of the base. I then lifted the folded omelette out of the pan, onto a plate and just stared at it. Why were there no witnesses to this monumental acheivement?

But how did it taste? Heaven. So light and fluffy in the middle. Just the right amount of seasoning and cheese....

...I'll take a picture next time! :o)