drunkeness level 0/5 (I did have two cans of lager last night whilst watching Midsomer Murder though)
Back in the days when I used to watch a lot of TV, there was a gentleman who appeared on several shows with the claim to fame of being the World Memory Champion. I can't remember his name (not a good start!) but I do remember he was quite tall, short, brown curly hair and a Magnum P.I. moustache.
One thing I do remember about him was the technique he used to remember sequences of things. In most cases he demonstrated by memorising the order of the 52 cards in a pack after only looking through the pack once. The technique can also be used for storing sequences of numbers or letters if needed (like a bank account number, or Pi to 100 decimal places that kind of thing) Hmmm..........Pi
...anyway, the technique. Start by picturing a journey you know like the back of your hand. A journey you make on a regular basis. In my case it would be the walk to work, but it could be a regular bus ride, car journey etc. Any journey that you make over and over again and has familiar landmarks.
Next, picture a series of objects you see on that journey and keep them in order. An unusal tree, a brightly coloured front door, a road sign... just about anything just as long as you know you see them everytime you make the journey. For me it would start with the inside of my apartment door, followed by the bus stop right outside my flat, the bright yellow Barrats advert, the 'Bus Lane only' marked on the road as I cross and so on and so on.
Finally (keeping up with me so far?) the sequence you want to remember. Take each item in turn, and mix it with the objects on your route. Does that make sense? Probably not. Ok, I'll use my 4 route objects as an example to remember 4 random playing cards.
The four cards at random are: Jack of Hearts, 3 of spades, 6 of clubs and finally Ace of Diamonds. In my head I take my familiar route, but I 'add' the playing cards to it. I picture a giant Jack of Hearts on the back of my apartment door. The bus stop has the 3 of spades as an advert on it, the yellow Barrats advert now is trying to sell me the 6 of clubs, and instead of 'Bus Lane Only' the road markings now say 'Ace of Diamonds only'.
Because the route is so familiar to you, the 'changes' you make in your head will stand out and you should be able to remember the playing cards in order. I tried it this morning with 13 cards. I managed the first 10 and I knew the last one too. I only got cards 11 and 12 the wrong way round. Apparently if you practice over and over again, and always use the same route, you can increase the number of things you remember. That memory guy can remember multiple packs of cards mixed together without any effort.
I think 2008 might be the year I climb out of the gutter and improve my feeble mind. I've kept a plant alive for 6 weeks, I've started reading classic literature, and now I'm improving my memory. What next? :o)
....perhaps I should have a stab at writing that novel that's been rattling round inside my head for years.
January 27, 2008
January 24, 2008
O-O-O it's Magic
still an alcohol free zone.
Just realised I only have two weeks to learn and attempt to perfect a new card trick. I can't turn up in Castletown on the 10th without something added to my reportoire. It could be hard. No practice time available, I haven't located my decent American cards yet, and I haven't got an opportunity to watch a magician perform a trick that I can work out and master.
Looks like this time it might have to be a Geoff original. Might be a variation on an existing trick, but as long as it appears different no one will notice.
...now, if I can just persuade someone to wear a sexy leotard and fish-net stockings my act would be complete.
Recreating Hitchcock Part II
Drunkeness level 0/5 (2 full days without alcohol)
...That makes me sound like I'm in an AA meeting. I went to an AA meeting once. I stood up and said "Hello, my name's Geoff and I'm a gambleaholic".
This nice looking lady sitting at the front turned to me and said "I'm sorry Geoff, I think you've made a mistake. This is alcoholics anonymous."
"I know", I replied, "but I'm too pissed to find the right room."
..anyway, back on track.
As you may recall from a previous entry, I have developed a knack for recreating famous scenes from Hitchcock movies. Not content with summoning up a flock of feathered friends for 'The Birds', I have now made myself the star of his 1954 classic 'Rear Window'.
For the uninitiated, the basic premise of the film is James Stewart lives in an apartment that overlooks a small courtyard. Out of his window he can see the windows of all the other flats. Stuck indoors because of a broken leg, he observes the comings and goings of all his neighbours. He begins to suspect that Raymond Burr in the flat directly opposite has killed his wife, and he enlists the help of Grace Kelly to help uncover the truth.
With me so far? Good. I got to leave work early yesterday, but having no money I just went home. I made myself some chunky vegetable soup and took it to my room to eat, whilst watching Midsomer Murders. (none of this is relevant I just want you to have a complete picture). After the soup I got into bed to continue watching the DVD. I hadn't drawn my curtains like I usually do, and looking out of the window, all I could see were the apartments opposite.
You may think it's strange that I've never made the Hitchcock connection before, but I think this is the first time I've looked out, whilst lying down. If I look out whilst standing up, I can see the road inbetween me and the other apartments so it looks nothing like the scene from the movie. If I look at the window from bed, it would normally be with the windows partially, or fully drawn.
...and it wasn't just the fact that the road wasn't in view. Most of the rooms had their lights on. They all had different style curtains, drapes or blinds which made every window look distinct. In some, you could see the shadows of people moving about. In another, the blue flicker of a TV screen. One had shirts hanging up - possibly someone doing their ironing. The one directly opposite me, at my eye level was the most intriguing. It was in complete blackness, but the balcony windows were wide open.
After a few minutes of me giving all these people nicknames and creating background stories for their lives, I glanced back at the dark room. The lights had never gone on, but now the windows were closed. Had a sinister Perry Mason look-a-like type character killed his wife, and opened the windows for fresh air? Was he now busy packing up her clothes into a tatty suitcase to make it look like she had gone on a holiday? Was I going to find newly turned earth in the potted plants in front of the apartment block? Someone must be in there for the doors to have been opened then closed, but why do it in secret? I'll let you know if I spot anything tonight. Sadly I don't have a Grace Kelly type woman visiting me and I don't think a gang of teddy bears are going to be much use as assistants.
...now all I need to do is to catch a beautiful, naked woman in a shower whilst I'm wearing my grey wig and black dress and we can have a go at 'Psycho'.
...That makes me sound like I'm in an AA meeting. I went to an AA meeting once. I stood up and said "Hello, my name's Geoff and I'm a gambleaholic".
This nice looking lady sitting at the front turned to me and said "I'm sorry Geoff, I think you've made a mistake. This is alcoholics anonymous."
"I know", I replied, "but I'm too pissed to find the right room."
..anyway, back on track.
As you may recall from a previous entry, I have developed a knack for recreating famous scenes from Hitchcock movies. Not content with summoning up a flock of feathered friends for 'The Birds', I have now made myself the star of his 1954 classic 'Rear Window'.
For the uninitiated, the basic premise of the film is James Stewart lives in an apartment that overlooks a small courtyard. Out of his window he can see the windows of all the other flats. Stuck indoors because of a broken leg, he observes the comings and goings of all his neighbours. He begins to suspect that Raymond Burr in the flat directly opposite has killed his wife, and he enlists the help of Grace Kelly to help uncover the truth.
With me so far? Good. I got to leave work early yesterday, but having no money I just went home. I made myself some chunky vegetable soup and took it to my room to eat, whilst watching Midsomer Murders. (none of this is relevant I just want you to have a complete picture). After the soup I got into bed to continue watching the DVD. I hadn't drawn my curtains like I usually do, and looking out of the window, all I could see were the apartments opposite.
You may think it's strange that I've never made the Hitchcock connection before, but I think this is the first time I've looked out, whilst lying down. If I look out whilst standing up, I can see the road inbetween me and the other apartments so it looks nothing like the scene from the movie. If I look at the window from bed, it would normally be with the windows partially, or fully drawn.
...and it wasn't just the fact that the road wasn't in view. Most of the rooms had their lights on. They all had different style curtains, drapes or blinds which made every window look distinct. In some, you could see the shadows of people moving about. In another, the blue flicker of a TV screen. One had shirts hanging up - possibly someone doing their ironing. The one directly opposite me, at my eye level was the most intriguing. It was in complete blackness, but the balcony windows were wide open.
After a few minutes of me giving all these people nicknames and creating background stories for their lives, I glanced back at the dark room. The lights had never gone on, but now the windows were closed. Had a sinister Perry Mason look-a-like type character killed his wife, and opened the windows for fresh air? Was he now busy packing up her clothes into a tatty suitcase to make it look like she had gone on a holiday? Was I going to find newly turned earth in the potted plants in front of the apartment block? Someone must be in there for the doors to have been opened then closed, but why do it in secret? I'll let you know if I spot anything tonight. Sadly I don't have a Grace Kelly type woman visiting me and I don't think a gang of teddy bears are going to be much use as assistants.
...now all I need to do is to catch a beautiful, naked woman in a shower whilst I'm wearing my grey wig and black dress and we can have a go at 'Psycho'.
January 23, 2008
Let me......Entertain You Part II
What's that? you want MORE??? How very dare you.
OK, here are some more facts, mainly about the English language and numbers. Hope you are amused
1. "Almost" is the longest word in common use that has all it's letters in alphabetical order
2. "Uncopyrightable" is the longest word that has no repeated letter
3. "Four" is the only number that has the same number of letters as the number itself.
4. There are 8 ways to pronounce the letters 'ough'. Reading this sentence will utilise them all:
"A rough, dough-faced ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough, coughing and hiccoughing thoughtfully"
5. "Stewardessess" is the longest word that would be typed with only the left hand by a touch-typist. "Typewriter" is the longest word possible using only the top row of a typewriter.
6. 11% of the world are left-handed
7. (I love this one) For all you Maths geeks out there, the square of the number 111,111,111 is palindromic and contains all the digits 1 to 9 . SO: 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 is:
12,345,678,987,654,321 (I REALLY need to get out more)
8. If someone says 'I'll be back in a jiffy' they actually mean they will be back in 1/100th of a second. "Jiffy" is an offical scientific measurement of time.
9. I am officially a spremologer. (look it up!)
10. Bats always turn left when the exit a cave.
OK, here are some more facts, mainly about the English language and numbers. Hope you are amused
1. "Almost" is the longest word in common use that has all it's letters in alphabetical order
2. "Uncopyrightable" is the longest word that has no repeated letter
3. "Four" is the only number that has the same number of letters as the number itself.
4. There are 8 ways to pronounce the letters 'ough'. Reading this sentence will utilise them all:
"A rough, dough-faced ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough, coughing and hiccoughing thoughtfully"
5. "Stewardessess" is the longest word that would be typed with only the left hand by a touch-typist. "Typewriter" is the longest word possible using only the top row of a typewriter.
6. 11% of the world are left-handed
7. (I love this one) For all you Maths geeks out there, the square of the number 111,111,111 is palindromic and contains all the digits 1 to 9 . SO: 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 is:
12,345,678,987,654,321 (I REALLY need to get out more)
8. If someone says 'I'll be back in a jiffy' they actually mean they will be back in 1/100th of a second. "Jiffy" is an offical scientific measurement of time.
9. I am officially a spremologer. (look it up!)
10. Bats always turn left when the exit a cave.
Let me......Entertain You
Drunkeness Level 0/5
As requested by a certain 'young' lady I'm blogging today just to keep people entertained.
How about random facts intermingled with one-line jokes? (is intermingled really a word?)
Fact 1: In Reno Nevada, often described as little Vegas, it is illegal to lie down on the pavement
Joke 1: I phoned my local gym and asked them if they could teach me how to do the splits. "Are you flexible?" They asked. "Well I can't make Tuesdays, but other than that I am"
Fact 2: A cat's urine will glow under a 'blacklight' (an ultraviolet light)
Joke 2: I read in the news today that the price of hearing aids has almost doubled in the past few weeks. Deaf people all over the country are going "How much?"
Fact 3: The cigarette lighter was invented and patented before the match
Joke 3: I was getting in my car and a friend came up and said "can you give me a lift?" "Sure", I said, "You're intelligent, attractive and everyone likes you."
Fact 4: According to leading economists, if they came up for sale, the three most valuable brand names in the world would be: Marlboro, Coca-Cola and Budweiser
Joke 4: I told my Mum last week that I had bought a theatre. "Are you having me on?" she asked. "Well I'll give you an audition, but no promises."
Fact 5: Andorra has an unemployment rate of 0%. In contrast, the unemployment rate in Liberia is over 85%
Joke 5: I rang up my local swimming baths. "Is that the local swimming baths?" I asked. "Dunno", came the reply, "depends where you're calling from."
As requested by a certain 'young' lady I'm blogging today just to keep people entertained.
How about random facts intermingled with one-line jokes? (is intermingled really a word?)
Fact 1: In Reno Nevada, often described as little Vegas, it is illegal to lie down on the pavement
Joke 1: I phoned my local gym and asked them if they could teach me how to do the splits. "Are you flexible?" They asked. "Well I can't make Tuesdays, but other than that I am"
Fact 2: A cat's urine will glow under a 'blacklight' (an ultraviolet light)
Joke 2: I read in the news today that the price of hearing aids has almost doubled in the past few weeks. Deaf people all over the country are going "How much?"
Fact 3: The cigarette lighter was invented and patented before the match
Joke 3: I was getting in my car and a friend came up and said "can you give me a lift?" "Sure", I said, "You're intelligent, attractive and everyone likes you."
Fact 4: According to leading economists, if they came up for sale, the three most valuable brand names in the world would be: Marlboro, Coca-Cola and Budweiser
Joke 4: I told my Mum last week that I had bought a theatre. "Are you having me on?" she asked. "Well I'll give you an audition, but no promises."
Fact 5: Andorra has an unemployment rate of 0%. In contrast, the unemployment rate in Liberia is over 85%
Joke 5: I rang up my local swimming baths. "Is that the local swimming baths?" I asked. "Dunno", came the reply, "depends where you're calling from."
Working 9 to 5, Trying Hard to Make a Living...
Drunkeness level 0/5
I'm now in my 15th week of work in Southampton. So far, I have worked a total of 1,050 hours. You do the maths!
Health and Safety laws in the UK state that no individual should average more than 48 hours of work per week.
My non-existant contract is for 60 hours per week, but that still means I've worked more than 100 hours of overtime.
I've put in a claim for the money, but I won't hold my breath. I know the owners of this company think I'm paid too much as it is.
I'm taking home the same money I used to in IOM, but there I worked a MAXIMUM of 60 hours a week and if I worked a weekend, I ony did about 50 hours. Now I'm doing a MINIMUM of 60 hours, and generally it's closer to 75.
...I'm such a whinger aren't I?
I'm now in my 15th week of work in Southampton. So far, I have worked a total of 1,050 hours. You do the maths!
Health and Safety laws in the UK state that no individual should average more than 48 hours of work per week.
My non-existant contract is for 60 hours per week, but that still means I've worked more than 100 hours of overtime.
I've put in a claim for the money, but I won't hold my breath. I know the owners of this company think I'm paid too much as it is.
I'm taking home the same money I used to in IOM, but there I worked a MAXIMUM of 60 hours a week and if I worked a weekend, I ony did about 50 hours. Now I'm doing a MINIMUM of 60 hours, and generally it's closer to 75.
...I'm such a whinger aren't I?
January 18, 2008
Coulrophobia Part II
Drunkeness level 0/5
Even the BBC agrees with me!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7191721.stm
Considering my fear, I've seen almost all the films listed in this article. That either means I'm a glutton for self-punishment, or perhaps the films themselves led me to the fear in the first place.
...remember to check under your bed tonight for a man in baggy trousers, pom-poms for buttons and bright orange hair over a white painted face.
Even the BBC agrees with me!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7191721.stm
Considering my fear, I've seen almost all the films listed in this article. That either means I'm a glutton for self-punishment, or perhaps the films themselves led me to the fear in the first place.
...remember to check under your bed tonight for a man in baggy trousers, pom-poms for buttons and bright orange hair over a white painted face.
January 14, 2008
To Sleep Perchance to Dream Part II
drunkeness level 0/5
Thought I'd continue my dream entry from earlier this week by relaying the story of the strange visions I had last night.
I had set a car treasure hunt for several teams (think there were 6 groups in all, although I don't know who all the people were). We all met in the side room of a pub - the layout didn't look familiar to me, so it wasn't one of my usual haunts either past or present. I sent the teams off with their questions, and I remained in the pub alone. The bar area was visible to me through a narrow archway, but I never went to the bar. The furniture was quite old fashioned, and it felt more like a seaside cafe than a pub.
After a while, the phone rang and it was for me - it was one of the teams. Apparently one of the questions in the treasure hunt involved them calling this phone to obtain a code. I said 'it's 14' and then hung up. I also doodled a huge '14' on a sheet of blank white paper with a blue biro.
Later, my sister came into the pub and sat with me. She apologised for missing the start of the treasure hunt, and then read a newspaper.
It got later, and later and the pub closed and the lights were turned off. I remained sitting in the side room. No one doing the treasure hunt had returned, or got in touch with me. I opened the back fire exit to the pub and I was at the top of a high flight of stone steps. Looking down, the surrounding area was all cobbled, and there was a column in front of me. It looked very similar to Castletown square (but the stone steps would have been in the back corner of the square behind the bus shelter). It was twilight, dark blue sky and lit up by orange street lights.
There was someone I knew on the cobbles - not someone I can give a name to, but I reacted to them as though I knew them. It was someone who had been on the treasure hunt. I asked them why they hadn't come back to the pub, and he just said 'oh we gave up half way round and went to another pub' He then told me that all 6 teams had met up and been socialising at this other pub for most of the night.
I thanked him for the info, went back into the dark building, gathered up my papers and left via the fire exit. My sister was no longer there, but I don't know where or when she went.
....then I woke up.
Thought I'd continue my dream entry from earlier this week by relaying the story of the strange visions I had last night.
I had set a car treasure hunt for several teams (think there were 6 groups in all, although I don't know who all the people were). We all met in the side room of a pub - the layout didn't look familiar to me, so it wasn't one of my usual haunts either past or present. I sent the teams off with their questions, and I remained in the pub alone. The bar area was visible to me through a narrow archway, but I never went to the bar. The furniture was quite old fashioned, and it felt more like a seaside cafe than a pub.
After a while, the phone rang and it was for me - it was one of the teams. Apparently one of the questions in the treasure hunt involved them calling this phone to obtain a code. I said 'it's 14' and then hung up. I also doodled a huge '14' on a sheet of blank white paper with a blue biro.
Later, my sister came into the pub and sat with me. She apologised for missing the start of the treasure hunt, and then read a newspaper.
It got later, and later and the pub closed and the lights were turned off. I remained sitting in the side room. No one doing the treasure hunt had returned, or got in touch with me. I opened the back fire exit to the pub and I was at the top of a high flight of stone steps. Looking down, the surrounding area was all cobbled, and there was a column in front of me. It looked very similar to Castletown square (but the stone steps would have been in the back corner of the square behind the bus shelter). It was twilight, dark blue sky and lit up by orange street lights.
There was someone I knew on the cobbles - not someone I can give a name to, but I reacted to them as though I knew them. It was someone who had been on the treasure hunt. I asked them why they hadn't come back to the pub, and he just said 'oh we gave up half way round and went to another pub' He then told me that all 6 teams had met up and been socialising at this other pub for most of the night.
I thanked him for the info, went back into the dark building, gathered up my papers and left via the fire exit. My sister was no longer there, but I don't know where or when she went.
....then I woke up.
January 13, 2008
QI versus the quiz machine part II
Drunkeness level 4.5/5 (it's been along day!)
This is an addition to a previous post. Two days ago, the quiz machine asked me 'what does the word "kangaroo" mean?'
Now, my limited random knowledge had heard a vicious rumour, that kangaroo was given it's name because it was the Abourigine word for 'I don't know', and that was one of the options available to me. I chose it, and it was correct. Hurrah!
...however.... I've just watched QI, series 1, Episode 7 and apparently that's a load of hogwash. Kangaroo is the same word as 'horse' in Abourigine.
Thankfully, I got to the quiz machine, before I watched that particular episode, otherwise it would have been 50p up the creek again!
....I think I might write to Stephen Fry and ask for the money he owes me from previous QI to quiz machine mismatches...
This is an addition to a previous post. Two days ago, the quiz machine asked me 'what does the word "kangaroo" mean?'
Now, my limited random knowledge had heard a vicious rumour, that kangaroo was given it's name because it was the Abourigine word for 'I don't know', and that was one of the options available to me. I chose it, and it was correct. Hurrah!
...however.... I've just watched QI, series 1, Episode 7 and apparently that's a load of hogwash. Kangaroo is the same word as 'horse' in Abourigine.
Thankfully, I got to the quiz machine, before I watched that particular episode, otherwise it would have been 50p up the creek again!
....I think I might write to Stephen Fry and ask for the money he owes me from previous QI to quiz machine mismatches...
January 12, 2008
To Sleep Perchance to Dream
Drunkeness level 1/5
Sleep is a strange thing. Since moving, my sleep pattern has not really improved. In reality it's got a little bit worse. A lot of this is to do with my overloaded conscience, and the rest is due to the bed I've got. The creaks and groans it makes when I turn over are loud enough to wake me up! (As well as all my neighbours and their pets. There is a goldfish living next door who is now receiving therapy for the amount of times I've disturbed his rest)
As I can't fall into deep sleep anymore, I tend to remember almost all my dreams, several per night. There is a wide eclectic mix of subject matter... rude, funny, scary, emotional and the truely bizarre. The people involved range from individuals I've only ever met once, family members, close friends, famous actors and complete strangers.
I remember when I was about 14 an art teacher at school got us involved in an experiment about thinking and dreaming, but it's only now I've realised what he said was true. Which side of your body you lie on, determines the time-frame of your dreams.
If you are right-handed, and sleep lying on your right arm, you will dream of something that might happen in the future. If you sleep on your left arm, you think of something that has already happened. If you lie on your back you dream of the present and if you lie on your stomach you might suffocate on your pillow! :o)
As a lefty, lying on your left or right arm is reversed (so left arm is for the future, and right for the past). I can now confirm that all this is true.
If I find myself dreaming of schooldays, or someone I knew at college, I will be leaning on my right side. If I turn over, I find it impossible to get back to the same dream, and I drift into some future fantasy instead.
Last night was quite funny. I woke myself up from a beautiful story involving a girl I used to have a crush on many years ago. As I tried to drop off again, I had turned over and I just couldn't get back into the same train of thought. I decided to force myself to turn over and there she was in my head waiting for me! It's good to know that if I want to deliberately dream about old times, all I have to do is lie on my right side!
What to try it yourself without actually going to sleep? Look up and think hard about the earliest Christmas you can remember...think hard...concentrate on everything and anything you can remember about that time (good or bad)
Which way did you turn your head whilst you were concentrating? If you are right handed you probably turned your head slightly to the left. Leftys turn their head slightly to the right.
...I've absolutely no idea what happens if you're ambidextrous.
Sleep is a strange thing. Since moving, my sleep pattern has not really improved. In reality it's got a little bit worse. A lot of this is to do with my overloaded conscience, and the rest is due to the bed I've got. The creaks and groans it makes when I turn over are loud enough to wake me up! (As well as all my neighbours and their pets. There is a goldfish living next door who is now receiving therapy for the amount of times I've disturbed his rest)
As I can't fall into deep sleep anymore, I tend to remember almost all my dreams, several per night. There is a wide eclectic mix of subject matter... rude, funny, scary, emotional and the truely bizarre. The people involved range from individuals I've only ever met once, family members, close friends, famous actors and complete strangers.
I remember when I was about 14 an art teacher at school got us involved in an experiment about thinking and dreaming, but it's only now I've realised what he said was true. Which side of your body you lie on, determines the time-frame of your dreams.
If you are right-handed, and sleep lying on your right arm, you will dream of something that might happen in the future. If you sleep on your left arm, you think of something that has already happened. If you lie on your back you dream of the present and if you lie on your stomach you might suffocate on your pillow! :o)
As a lefty, lying on your left or right arm is reversed (so left arm is for the future, and right for the past). I can now confirm that all this is true.
If I find myself dreaming of schooldays, or someone I knew at college, I will be leaning on my right side. If I turn over, I find it impossible to get back to the same dream, and I drift into some future fantasy instead.
Last night was quite funny. I woke myself up from a beautiful story involving a girl I used to have a crush on many years ago. As I tried to drop off again, I had turned over and I just couldn't get back into the same train of thought. I decided to force myself to turn over and there she was in my head waiting for me! It's good to know that if I want to deliberately dream about old times, all I have to do is lie on my right side!
What to try it yourself without actually going to sleep? Look up and think hard about the earliest Christmas you can remember...think hard...concentrate on everything and anything you can remember about that time (good or bad)
Which way did you turn your head whilst you were concentrating? If you are right handed you probably turned your head slightly to the left. Leftys turn their head slightly to the right.
...I've absolutely no idea what happens if you're ambidextrous.
January 11, 2008
Bob the Triffid
Drunkeness level 0/5
I've had my firstly fatherly style concerned moment this morning. Bob the Triffid needed dead-heading.
I knew this day would come, but it was quite traumatic taking off the flower heads that were looking the worst for wear. His leaves and stems all seem very healthy, so I'm quite pleased with myself. It's been about 3 weeks so far, and he's still alive. He still has three flowers left on him as well, so he's not completely naked.
I turned his pot round 180 degrees this morning too, so his back can get a suntan for a while.
I'll keep you posted on future developments as and when they arise. I'll post a new portrait of him too next time he requires attention.
.....I wonder if he's lonely? Should I buy him a lady plant to chat to?
I've had my firstly fatherly style concerned moment this morning. Bob the Triffid needed dead-heading.
I knew this day would come, but it was quite traumatic taking off the flower heads that were looking the worst for wear. His leaves and stems all seem very healthy, so I'm quite pleased with myself. It's been about 3 weeks so far, and he's still alive. He still has three flowers left on him as well, so he's not completely naked.
I turned his pot round 180 degrees this morning too, so his back can get a suntan for a while.
I'll keep you posted on future developments as and when they arise. I'll post a new portrait of him too next time he requires attention.
.....I wonder if he's lonely? Should I buy him a lady plant to chat to?
January 10, 2008
The pitfalls of being sinister
Drunkeness level 0/5 (hang-over level 4/5)
It would seem that me being a south-paw (left-handed in other words) has now been linked to schizophrenia. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6923577.stm
In the past, being a lefty has also been linked to a higher accident rate in the home, shorter life expectancy and smaller than average sized genitalia (actually I made that last one up, but I need to find some excuse!)
We left-handed people are a silent minority who are discriminated against on an almost daily basis. Nothing on a large scale like bank-loans or job vacancies, but a whole basket-full of everyday tasks.
If you are right-handed, next time you peel a carrot or potato, try using the peeler in your left hand. Try using a handheld electrical item like a power drill that has the switches on the side. Try writing with a traditional nibbed fountain pen. Try writing the last cheque in a standard cheque book when there are 30 or 40 empty stubs still in the book. Try using a pair of kitchen scissors that have handles designed for holding all your fingers. Try using a traditional can opener. Ever noticed that computer mice are usually ergonomic? Only if you use it on the right that is. Which arm is your watch on? And if it's an analogue timepiece, would you find it as easy to wind up if it was on the other wrist?
...and funniest of all, try fanning out a hand of playing cards that only have indicies in two of the corners, the opposite way.
It's a minefield out there.
It would seem that me being a south-paw (left-handed in other words) has now been linked to schizophrenia. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6923577.stm
In the past, being a lefty has also been linked to a higher accident rate in the home, shorter life expectancy and smaller than average sized genitalia (actually I made that last one up, but I need to find some excuse!)
We left-handed people are a silent minority who are discriminated against on an almost daily basis. Nothing on a large scale like bank-loans or job vacancies, but a whole basket-full of everyday tasks.
If you are right-handed, next time you peel a carrot or potato, try using the peeler in your left hand. Try using a handheld electrical item like a power drill that has the switches on the side. Try writing with a traditional nibbed fountain pen. Try writing the last cheque in a standard cheque book when there are 30 or 40 empty stubs still in the book. Try using a pair of kitchen scissors that have handles designed for holding all your fingers. Try using a traditional can opener. Ever noticed that computer mice are usually ergonomic? Only if you use it on the right that is. Which arm is your watch on? And if it's an analogue timepiece, would you find it as easy to wind up if it was on the other wrist?
...and funniest of all, try fanning out a hand of playing cards that only have indicies in two of the corners, the opposite way.
It's a minefield out there.
January 05, 2008
The Birds
Drunkeness level 0/5
This morning I managed to recreate a scene made famous by one of my favourite directors. The Birds by Alfred Hitchcock. If you haven't seen the film, I highly recommend it. The scene in question is when Tippi Hedren is outside the school and the birds begin to gather one by one on the climbing frame behind her. When the frame is full, and they try to evacuate the children they attack.
Anyway, I digress. This morning I did my bit for mother nature by cutting up all the crusts of homemade bread I had in my bread bin and putting them in a carrier bag. On the way to work, as I walked through the park, I left a trail behind me for the wildlife to feast on. (Actually I felt a bit like Hansel and Gretel heading to the gingerbread cottage but without the lederhosen)
I turned round and saw one magpie attempting to pick up a chunk of bread. Obviously what I defined as 'small chunks' when I was cutting up the bread was not the definition this bird would have used!
I moved on, sowing the crumbs as I went, and turned round again. Now there were three magpies and a HUGE seagull following me. I'd gone from Hansel and Gretel to the Pied Pier of Hamelin, swapping rats for birdlife.
As I got to the end of the park, I still had a handful of cubes left so I made a little pile near a park bench and table. I turned round once more, only to see a flock of seagulls, a multitude of magpies, two or three blackbirds, a handful of wood pigeons and one tiny sparrow (I think he was lost, or he was only there as a guest of one of the blackbirds).
Needless to say I dumped the empty bad in a nearby bin and made a swift exit. I wasn't about to find out what effect two-week old homemade bread has on a city dwelling seagull.
Hitchcock would have been proud of me, and I didn't need trained creatures or plastic replicas either.
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