...That makes me sound like I'm in an AA meeting. I went to an AA meeting once. I stood up and said "Hello, my name's Geoff and I'm a gambleaholic".
This nice looking lady sitting at the front turned to me and said "I'm sorry Geoff, I think you've made a mistake. This is alcoholics anonymous."
"I know", I replied, "but I'm too pissed to find the right room."
..anyway, back on track.
As you may recall from a previous entry, I have developed a knack for recreating famous scenes from Hitchcock movies. Not content with summoning up a flock of feathered friends for 'The Birds', I have now made myself the star of his 1954 classic 'Rear Window'.
For the uninitiated, the basic premise of the film is James Stewart lives in an apartment that overlooks a small courtyard. Out of his window he can see the windows of all the other flats. Stuck indoors because of a broken leg, he observes the comings and goings of all his neighbours. He begins to suspect that Raymond Burr in the flat directly opposite has killed his wife, and he enlists the help of Grace Kelly to help uncover the truth.
With me so far? Good. I got to leave work early yesterday, but having no money I just went home. I made myself some chunky vegetable soup and took it to my room to eat, whilst watching Midsomer Murders. (none of this is relevant I just want you to have a complete picture). After the soup I got into bed to continue watching the DVD. I hadn't drawn my curtains like I usually do, and looking out of the window, all I could see were the apartments opposite.
You may think it's strange that I've never made the Hitchcock connection before, but I think this is the first time I've looked out, whilst lying down. If I look out whilst standing up, I can see the road inbetween me and the other apartments so it looks nothing like the scene from the movie. If I look at the window from bed, it would normally be with the windows partially, or fully drawn.
...and it wasn't just the fact that the road wasn't in view. Most of the rooms had their lights on. They all had different style curtains, drapes or blinds which made every window look distinct. In some, you could see the shadows of people moving about. In another, the blue flicker of a TV screen. One had shirts hanging up - possibly someone doing their ironing. The one directly opposite me, at my eye level was the most intriguing. It was in complete blackness, but the balcony windows were wide open.
After a few minutes of me giving all these people nicknames and creating background stories for their lives, I glanced back at the dark room. The lights had never gone on, but now the windows were closed. Had a sinister Perry Mason look-a-like type character killed his wife, and opened the windows for fresh air? Was he now busy packing up her clothes into a tatty suitcase to make it look like she had gone on a holiday? Was I going to find newly turned earth in the potted plants in front of the apartment block? Someone must be in there for the doors to have been opened then closed, but why do it in secret? I'll let you know if I spot anything tonight. Sadly I don't have a Grace Kelly type woman visiting me and I don't think a gang of teddy bears are going to be much use as assistants.
...now all I need to do is to catch a beautiful, naked woman in a shower whilst I'm wearing my grey wig and black dress and we can have a go at 'Psycho'.
No comments:
Post a Comment