Resolutions

Drunkeness level 2.5/5

I don't consciously make resolutions just because the calendar moves up a number, but there are a few things I plan to do during 2008 (time off and money permitting)

1. Visit the Isle of Man as often as possible. Even if I make new friends in Soton, my long standing friends are still on the rock. When I left school, and later Uni, I was terrible at keeping in touch with people. I'm not going to make the same mistake again now I've left IOM. The intenet helps me keep in touch, but nothing beats meeting up with people in person. That's the only way I can get my hug level up :o)

2. Take more time away from alcohol. I know I drink too much, and it's not always social either. Sadly it seems to go hand in hand with loneliness for me. I will be making more of an effort to take a week or fortnight out every so often to give my liver a rest, reduce my beer belly and increase my bank balance. I've put on considerable weight since I came here, but it's not my eating habits. I seem to eat a lot less than I used to. The main reasons are less walking and more drinking. I can't do much about the excercise at the moment because of work, but I can watch what I drink when I'm on my own.

3. Use the train and get away from Soton. I get days off, but I'm lazy if I'm not motivated. I need to make plans in advance and go away for the day. See new places. I hardly know the South of England at all, and it's about time I got familiar with it. The train can be surprisingly cheap if you book in advance. Wouldn't mind nipping into London occasionally too. I really like visiting London (although I don't think I could live there)

4. Keep Bob the Triffid alive for the whole 12 months. This could be the hardest resolution of all as I've never been very green fingered. He's gorgeous though, and I've done ok so far. If I can manage that, I might buy him a friend next Christmas (or a goldfish)

So there we go. My 2008 mapped out. There are a few theatre trips to look forward to as well, and plenty of people promised to visit me too. As long as a few of them fulfil their promise it should be a good year.

Lots of Love and Peace to anyone who reads this.

Christmas Day Lunch

Drunkeness Level 0/5

Starter: Gravadlax of organic salmon on a celeriac puree with a light mustard dressing

Main Course: Confit goose breast on caramelised red onion mash with fruit compote and a red wine jus

Dessert: Traditional Christmas pudding with brandy sauce

To Finish: Large Bourbon on the rocks

All Accompanied by: a bottle of Oak aged 2006 Australian Chardonnay

...just thought I'd share that with you all. It was devine! :o)

A Good Night's Sleep

Drunkeness Level 2/5

I slept for a solid 6 hours last night. I think that's the first time in nearly two years. I think I also know why.

I had a phone call yesterday from a very close friend. My best friend. She probably doesn't realise what she did with what she said, but it made me go 'fuzzy' inside, and gave me a sense of inner peace.

Firstly, she called me 'cool'. I've NEVER been called 'cool' in my entire life. Not at school, not by ex-girlfriends, not by work-mates...never.

Secondly she said she misses me, without me saying it first. I know that sounds lame, but I'm so used to having to 'prompt' people into compliments or pleasantries. I had a running joke with "J" from Widnes while we were dating. She didn't know the phrase 'I love you', she could only say 'I love you too'.

Finally, she indirectly told me she trusts me. Describing going out drinking with a mutual friend she said it wasn't the same as going out with me because she couldn't trust him not to develop a crush on her. Going out with me was much more relaxed and fun.

I'm such a self hater, that I never take compliments to heart, and just assume there is a hidden agenda, but nothing said in that phone call was prompted, scripted or leading to anything else. It was just said off the cuff.

I smiled for the last few hours of work, went to bed, and slept well. Nothing to keep me awake this time.

Additional: It's likely that the friend in question is going to read this. Don't get big headed! You already knew I think you're the greatest anyway :o)

The Last of Sheila - A Review

Drunkeness level 1/5

Just felt like passing on a personal review of a little known film I saw many moons ago.

The film opens at a party. A woman storms out of the house after an arguement, but is knocked-down by a hit & run driver. Then the credits. What a way to start a film.

What we have here is a murder mystery set on board a luxury private yacht. 6 guests are invited on board to play a game and discuss making a film based on the true story of Sheila, the woman killed in the opening scene. As the game gets into full swing, tragedy stikes and the game takes on a whole new meaning. Is the host actually trying to uncover who really killed Sheila?

Written by Anthony 'Psycho' Perkins and Steven Sondheim this thriller is packed to the hilt with twists, turns and red herrings. The script has plenty of in-house Hollywood jokes and almost every scene has a clue or little nugget of information to keep you guessing. Set mainly on board the yacht, the film becomes quite claustraphobic with the guests themselves losing trust in each other minute by minute.

The cast list is a wonderful who's who of Hollywood. James Mason, Dyan Cannon, Racquel Welch, James Coburn and Ian 'Lovejoy' McShane in one of his earlier roles. James Coburn as the host puts in an especially good performance.

Criticsm? It's hard to find one, but the pace of the film changes from slow to fast then slow again. The final 'reveal' is very well done, but the ultimate ending is a little disappointing. These are minor faults however, compared to the wonderful, overall 90 minutes of murder-mystery pleasure the movie provides. Well worth watching (if you can find it!)

Mystery of the Walk to Work

Drunkeness level 0/5

I had a bizarre sensory mystery to solve this morning. Something had changed on my walk to work, but for a while I couldn't put my finger on what it was. Everything SEEMED the same, but I could sense there had been an alteration to my daily routine.

TASTE: Well, I could elimnate taste almost straight away. I never eat breakfast, so the only taste on my walk is minty toothpaste. No change there today.

TOUCH: Another sense I could eliminate immediately. I only ever touch the lining of my coat pockets, and due to the below zero temperature, my hands were well and truely buried. At the office I touch the front door and my keys, but I knew there was something odd BEFORE I got that far.

HEARING: This was a possibility. The traffic was more subdued than normal, so maybe I was hearing a new sound. I listened, but no...just traffic. The cold air seemed to be muffling the sound somewhat, and being Saturday there was less traffic anyway, but it wasn't out of the ordinary.

SIGHT: Was I seeing something new? Or maybe there was something missing. All the buildings were still standing. No trees had fallen over in the park. The last of the fallen leaves had been swept up, but I was expecting that. The only shop I pass was still open for sandwiches as usual. I even checked for moved traffic cones and road signs, but all seemed normal. The billboards near the railway were still advertising Lurpak butter and the Bon Jovi concert.

SMELL: Recently, smell hasn't been one of my overly used senses, due to the fact I seem to have a permenant cold, but was there a new aroma on my walk today? Or maybe a smell I associate with the walk had taken a day off. Traffic fumes as normal for the first part...check. Cooking bacon and sausages from the sandwich shop...check. A clean, 'autumnal ' smell from the park...check. More traffic fumes for the last leg of my short journey...check. WAIT, back-up. THE PARK!

I now knew what it was. Someone had been through the park and cut all the lawns. Every inch of the grass had been mowed. There were remenants of the cuttings on the path and the whole area was filled with the lovely fresh smell of newly cut grass. It's a lovely aroma, but I've never associated it with the week before Christmas.

On a crisp December morning, the smell of lawn trimmings was a wonderful way to start the day. I'm also glad my detective brain had the 'sense' to sort out what was different, otherwise I would never have got any work done today!

..Hope the smell is still lingering by the time I walk home.

Old Flame

Drunkeness level 2/5 (drinking big bottles of San Miguel at work!)

Been through a flood of emotions today. While I sit at work I often log into Facebook, check who's throwing sheep at who, who's tickling someone they shouldn't (that sort of thing).

I was very down this morning. I think it was the thought of the long stretch of work ahead of me, especially having to work all the Bank Holidays. At about 10am Monja sent me an instant message, and we chatted for at least an hour. By the time I went to lunch, I was cheerful, smiling, full of festive cheer. Monja had given me a lovely warm glow, just by keeping me company. Can't wait for her to come and visit next week.

When I came back from lunch, I sent a text to a friend to wish them all the best for their 'date' tonight, then logged back into Facebook. There was a 'Friends Request' and when I clicked on it, my entire love life flashed before my eyes.

The request was from an old flame. Well, it was more of a "fumble on the back seat" kind of relationship, but it all came flooding back to me. The last time I saw her was a brief meeting in the TT tent two years ago, nothing more than a 'Oh my God, how are you? How have you been?' etc. I accepted her friend request, and 5 minutes later she sent me a message. We chatted on-line for about half an hour, pleasantries, why are you in Southampton, what have you been doing and so on. All I wanted to say was 'God I miss you'.

...and how did it end? Well she said the next time I'm on the IOM I have to let her know so we can meet up. I got the impression from everything she wrote that she was single. Should I read anything into the fact that she found me on Facebook first? She sent the first message? She invited me to meet up in IOM?

This is the girl I was accused of having an affair with, an accusation that ultimately caused me to get divorced. Ironically, nothing happened until AFTER I had seperated from my wife. In truth, it wouldn't have mattered if it was before or after we went our seperate ways because she is one of only two people in this world I would ever think about leaving someone for...

Hope I can get back to IOM soon

Female friends

Drunkeness level 0/5

First day back at work after a few days off. Nothing's changed!

I realised something to myself whilst I sat on the train yesterday watching tree after tree whizz by.... I know why I'm single, and destined to always be single for a long time.

Amongst my circle of friends, I would only class a small handful of them as 'close'. These 'close' friends are almost exclusively female. I suppose I put this down to the fact that I try to treat women with a bit of respect, and in return females often confide in me - tell me things they wouldn't be prepared to tell another male. Women are prepared to ask me for a 'man's perspective' knowing I'll give them an honest, straight answer. The same applies in reverse. I can open up talking to a woman (almost any woman), and her comments back always seem to come with sincerity. It doesn't matter if they're under 16 or over 60, women just seem to care. It's something you can't rely on with male friends.

If I told my innermost worries or desires to a bloke, they would probably crack a joke, slap me on the back, tell me 'to get a life' and then buy me a pint.

..but this is why I'll always be single. If I continue to hold women with any kind of respect, I'll always be destined to have a growing circle of friends, and a shrinking 'little black book' of phone numbers. Making friends with women is not going to get me anywhere. If I meet a new female now, it's going to be impossible for me to treat her like shit, and consequently it'll be impossible for me to ask her out. As soon as I do, I'll hear those immortal words "We can't go out together, I value you too much as a friend". Meanwhile, some low-life chav or reject from the Planet of the Apes turns up, dragging his knuckles across the floor and before you can say 'Neanderthal' I'm invited to their wedding!

Then again, on the brighter side, I'd prefer to have a nice circle of close female friends and no girlfriend, than no friends at all and a girlfriend who doesn't love me. A warm affectionate hug is worth a thousand cold kisses.

Reminder to myself Part II

Drunkeness Level 2.5/5 (sobering up!)

Next time I think I need to exercise more, I just need to remind myself of my Christian upbringing (even though it's been a while)

"Bodily exercise profiteth little" (I Tim. Ch4: Vs 8)

I knew some good would come out of going to Sunday school all those years ago!

A reminder to myself Part I

Drunkeness level 3/5

A note to myself, although there are certain people I know who should take note of this too.

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. You are special and unique.

8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.

11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

South Coast Storm

Drunkeness level 1/5 Dampness level 4/5

For the past few days I've been reading reports about the gale force winds and rain storm 'lashing' the south coast. All quite perturbing, even before I remembered that's where I live now! Thankfully, except for a few rain downpours (when I've been indoors) I haven't really been effected by them...until this morning.

The last report I read stated that the winds were dying down and the storms were passing, but this mornng the walk to work was similar to a commando recruitment exercise. Strong winds hitting me in all directions, lashing rain coming at me horizontally (a REAL pain when you wear glasses!), dark clouds rolling above my head and fallen leaves whipping up and attaching themselves to my jeans. The wind also had a habit of lifting my coat collar and flicking it against my cold cheek, leaving a beautiful red mark. If anyone had seen me, they would have assumed I'd been slapped by an irate woman.

It also showed me I need a haircut. As I came into the office and saw my reflection in the front door window. I was looking at the long lost twin brother of the Bride of Frankenstein.

Now I'm sat at my desk, central heating on full blast, all lights on, listening to the rain hitting the windows. I don't think I'll bother going out for lunch today :)

....p.s. Interview yesterday went well. I took him to the pub and we chatted about football for 2 hours over a few pints :)

Interview

Drunkeness level 0/5 (it's 9.30am !) Hang-over level (4/5)

For the first time in my 33.5 year existence I am going to have to interview someone for a job. I've been the candidate on so many occasions, but now the shoe is on the other foot.

Where do I start? Do I start by talking about them, or the company? Do I ask them about their current wage at the beginning or the end? After I've finished do I ask them if the job sounds right for them or not?

I read that people are judged in the first few seconds they meet. People are pigeon-holed by their clothes, their body language, even the strength of their hand-shake. Am I going to be judged too? Before this all began I had the attitude 'they can take me as they find me' but I keep feeling I should somehow hide who I am behind a facade. I usually go to work in jeans, trainers and a sweatshirt. Should I wear trousers, shirt and shoes this time? (well that's probably out of the question since I'm still crippled from the last time I wore shoes)

If only I could just take them to the pub, chat to them over a few pints and challenge them to a few games of pool....then I'd know who was right for the job! oh well, I can dream

p.s. Off to a flying start.... first candidate didn't even turn up!