Drunkeness level 0/5 (alcohol free day yesterday!)
I've had one of those moments this morning (well two actually)
Walking to work I had this urge to cross the road several yards before the point where I normally cross (so I did). When I rounded the corner and saw the spot where I normally would have crossed, I found there was a huge puddle which would have blocked my path. Spooky.
On the last part of my walk, and as I entered the office I was humming 'Ready To Go' by Republika. I haven't heard that song in years, but for some reason it was in my head. I logged into my PC, turned on the radio and "Summer of '69" by Bryan Adams was just finishing...the next song that came on? You've guessed it.
I'm off to buy a lottery ticket.
November 29, 2007
November 25, 2007
Coulrophobia
drunkeness level 3.5/5
OK, to save you the time of looking it up in the dictionary, it's the irrational fear of clowns. It's not that I'm 'afraid' of them as such, I just don't see the point of them. At the circus as a child, I'd be in awe at the high-wire act, jealous of the jugglers, amazed at the acrobats and fire eaters, but the clowns? Was I supposed to laugh when the doors fell off his car, or their flower squirted water into the other clown's face? Where is the talent? Where is the years of training the rest of the circus troop had to go through? Covering your face in a mask and wearing a wig for a living should only be done by thespians and bank-robbers.
Actually, I suppose I do have a little bit of a fear of clowns, but I put that down largely to reading Stephen King's IT and then watching Tim Curry portray Pennywise so brilliantly in the TV film version. Couple that with the film 'Clownhouse' and the video for 'Mr Sandman' (see youtube link) and you'll see my fear is not exactly irrational. Clowns have no place in modern society and should all be put out to pasture.
Rant over
November 23, 2007
The long weekend
Drunkeness Level 3/5. Tiredness level 2.5/5
Yesterday was my one month anniversary in Southampton. No one noticed. Mike left for his usual weekend back home a day later than usual, which I thought would shorten my time alone.... it hasn't. He's not due back til Wednesday. So here starts a set of 4 days of 14 hour shifts on my own.
I realised yesterday, that if it wasn't for the check-out girl in the Express Tesco, or the bar staff in the pub next door, I wouldn't actually open my mouth at all. Even taking them into account, my entire vocabulary around the weekend consists of nothing more than "cheers hun" or "pint please mate".
Thankfully, this weekend I have the footy game tomorrow to break up the monotony, but unless the players feel the urge to talk back to me when I shout at them, I can't see me engaging in intellectual conversation anytime soon.
I did have one of those surreal moments today. 2 of my previous 'relationships' came back to haunt me at the same time. K (known as broom room girl) suddenly joined Facebook, and added me as a friend and C (South African girl) Sent me a message on the same website even though I've not heard from her in months. You'll notice 'relationships' is in inverted commas....Seperate story, which I'm sure I'll share with my blog in the near future.
I miss K.......
Yesterday was my one month anniversary in Southampton. No one noticed. Mike left for his usual weekend back home a day later than usual, which I thought would shorten my time alone.... it hasn't. He's not due back til Wednesday. So here starts a set of 4 days of 14 hour shifts on my own.
I realised yesterday, that if it wasn't for the check-out girl in the Express Tesco, or the bar staff in the pub next door, I wouldn't actually open my mouth at all. Even taking them into account, my entire vocabulary around the weekend consists of nothing more than "cheers hun" or "pint please mate".
Thankfully, this weekend I have the footy game tomorrow to break up the monotony, but unless the players feel the urge to talk back to me when I shout at them, I can't see me engaging in intellectual conversation anytime soon.
I did have one of those surreal moments today. 2 of my previous 'relationships' came back to haunt me at the same time. K (known as broom room girl) suddenly joined Facebook, and added me as a friend and C (South African girl) Sent me a message on the same website even though I've not heard from her in months. You'll notice 'relationships' is in inverted commas....Seperate story, which I'm sure I'll share with my blog in the near future.
I miss K.......
QI versus Quiz Machine
Drunkeness level: 0/5 Tiredness level 4.5/5
Two things have happened since I came to Southampton and spent so much time on my own. Firstly, I've spent a wickedly excessive amount of time in the pub next door to the office playing the pub quiz machine. Secondly I've watched every episode of QI back to back on Youtube (that's about 60 episodes and 3 Christmas specials!). Here is a useful piece of information if you ever find yourself in my situation. QI AND PUB TRIVIA MACHINES DO NOT MIX !
Picture the scene, It's Sunday afternoon, I've just watched 6 episodes of series 3 and need a break. My feeble brain has managed to retain almost every fact that the show has thrown at me, and I'm off to the pub.
"Pint of Fosters please. No that's fine, you can serve that person who arrived 5 minutes after me first...as usual"
"£1.95 please"
"Cheers"
"ooh, three pound coins in my change......quiz machine!"
50p later, a dozen or so questions into a 'game' of Monopoly......"True or False, there are no words that rhyme with Purple in the English language"
Well, Stephen Fry listed at least 3, not half an hour ago, so the answer must be false..... INCORRECT. 50p gone
ok, we'll try again...50p 6 questions into a game of 'Nuts' (don't ask, it's a quiz game based on the lads magazine)
"True or False, your hair grows upto 3cm after death". Well no, Stephen Fry said it only APPEARS like it does because your body shrinks and shrivels up slightly, so clearly it's false.....INCORRECT. 50p gone
AARGGH! Whoever compiles the questions for pub trivia machines, clearly hasn't heard of QI, nor have they got the IQ to do any proper research into their information. Who do I complain to? If I talk to the machine, I'll be bundled into the back of a van with a strait jacket wrapped around me. If I complain to the pub staff, they'll just serve someone else before me. If I write to the machine manufacturers I'll probably get sent an apology six weeks later and a souveneir keyring. Complain to Stephen Fry? It's not his fault, and anyway, he's too busy answering fan-mail from pre-pubescent boys who have illicit fantasies about him.
Still, it's cheaper than playing the fruit machines
Two things have happened since I came to Southampton and spent so much time on my own. Firstly, I've spent a wickedly excessive amount of time in the pub next door to the office playing the pub quiz machine. Secondly I've watched every episode of QI back to back on Youtube (that's about 60 episodes and 3 Christmas specials!). Here is a useful piece of information if you ever find yourself in my situation. QI AND PUB TRIVIA MACHINES DO NOT MIX !
Picture the scene, It's Sunday afternoon, I've just watched 6 episodes of series 3 and need a break. My feeble brain has managed to retain almost every fact that the show has thrown at me, and I'm off to the pub.
"Pint of Fosters please. No that's fine, you can serve that person who arrived 5 minutes after me first...as usual"
"£1.95 please"
"Cheers"
"ooh, three pound coins in my change......quiz machine!"
50p later, a dozen or so questions into a 'game' of Monopoly......"True or False, there are no words that rhyme with Purple in the English language"
Well, Stephen Fry listed at least 3, not half an hour ago, so the answer must be false..... INCORRECT. 50p gone
ok, we'll try again...50p 6 questions into a game of 'Nuts' (don't ask, it's a quiz game based on the lads magazine)
"True or False, your hair grows upto 3cm after death". Well no, Stephen Fry said it only APPEARS like it does because your body shrinks and shrivels up slightly, so clearly it's false.....INCORRECT. 50p gone
AARGGH! Whoever compiles the questions for pub trivia machines, clearly hasn't heard of QI, nor have they got the IQ to do any proper research into their information. Who do I complain to? If I talk to the machine, I'll be bundled into the back of a van with a strait jacket wrapped around me. If I complain to the pub staff, they'll just serve someone else before me. If I write to the machine manufacturers I'll probably get sent an apology six weeks later and a souveneir keyring. Complain to Stephen Fry? It's not his fault, and anyway, he's too busy answering fan-mail from pre-pubescent boys who have illicit fantasies about him.
Still, it's cheaper than playing the fruit machines
November 22, 2007
Things to look forward to
Drunkeness state 0.5/5
It's been a long first month in Southampton. I've tried to make the most of the little free time I've had, but so far, all I've managed is one trip to the cinema (American Gangster, V.Good) and a trip to Lingfield Racing. Normally that would be high up on my list of nice things to look back on, but it's because of Lingfield Park's stupid dress code that I crippled myself in new shoes!! I did develop a crush on Kelli behind the bar at the track though, so it wasn't all bad :o)
So, what things do I have planned in the immediate future I can mentally diarise and look forward to? First up is a football game on Saturday afternoon, Southampton vs Blackpool. I've developed a soft spot for the seasiders since I got to go and see them last year, and was really pleased they got promoted. Unfortunately, I'll be sat in the middle of the SOuthampton supporters, so I'm going to have to keep my celebrations internal if Blackpool score!
Second, is my first trip to the Mayflower theatre. Dec 7th to see Wizard of Oz. Normally I would think twice about going to what is billed as a 'family show' (glorified pantomime really) but it's got a decent cast, and more importantly, I get to see how the Mayflower compares to the Gaiety. God I miss the Gaiety!
Next on the mental agenda is a trip back to IOM to see my best friend (and any other old faces that happen to be in the pub at the time!) Can't wait to see her, I miss her like mad. After that, I spend two days with my family in Manchester. Must remember to go Christmas shopping BEFORE I travel, because this will be the only time I see them before the festive period. 2 days should be long enough to see everyone, and short enough not to row with anyone. :o)
After that, I have the pleasure of Monja's company for Christmas and New Year. I'm so grateful I won't be on my own. I was dreading spending the first Christmas here alone. Somehow, having Christmas dinner for one, in a Sushi restaurant just wouldn't be right. I bet I end up cooking the dinner too!
In the New year? Well in April I've got another show at the Mayflower, and French & Saunders Live the week after. Just realised I have nothing planned from January to Easter...better get my thinking cap on. Hopefully I'll pursuade someone to come and visit me. Ant said he wanted to come over, and I'm sure Jackie will eventually (as long as we can get her a new job ASAP).
It's been a long first month in Southampton. I've tried to make the most of the little free time I've had, but so far, all I've managed is one trip to the cinema (American Gangster, V.Good) and a trip to Lingfield Racing. Normally that would be high up on my list of nice things to look back on, but it's because of Lingfield Park's stupid dress code that I crippled myself in new shoes!! I did develop a crush on Kelli behind the bar at the track though, so it wasn't all bad :o)
So, what things do I have planned in the immediate future I can mentally diarise and look forward to? First up is a football game on Saturday afternoon, Southampton vs Blackpool. I've developed a soft spot for the seasiders since I got to go and see them last year, and was really pleased they got promoted. Unfortunately, I'll be sat in the middle of the SOuthampton supporters, so I'm going to have to keep my celebrations internal if Blackpool score!
Second, is my first trip to the Mayflower theatre. Dec 7th to see Wizard of Oz. Normally I would think twice about going to what is billed as a 'family show' (glorified pantomime really) but it's got a decent cast, and more importantly, I get to see how the Mayflower compares to the Gaiety. God I miss the Gaiety!
Next on the mental agenda is a trip back to IOM to see my best friend (and any other old faces that happen to be in the pub at the time!) Can't wait to see her, I miss her like mad. After that, I spend two days with my family in Manchester. Must remember to go Christmas shopping BEFORE I travel, because this will be the only time I see them before the festive period. 2 days should be long enough to see everyone, and short enough not to row with anyone. :o)
After that, I have the pleasure of Monja's company for Christmas and New Year. I'm so grateful I won't be on my own. I was dreading spending the first Christmas here alone. Somehow, having Christmas dinner for one, in a Sushi restaurant just wouldn't be right. I bet I end up cooking the dinner too!
In the New year? Well in April I've got another show at the Mayflower, and French & Saunders Live the week after. Just realised I have nothing planned from January to Easter...better get my thinking cap on. Hopefully I'll pursuade someone to come and visit me. Ant said he wanted to come over, and I'm sure Jackie will eventually (as long as we can get her a new job ASAP).
Today
Drunken level 1/5. Strange day today. Woke up and swung my feet out of bed to go to the bathroom. My heavily blistered heels both 'cracked' but I thought nothing of it (just thought they had healed over a bit during the night). On the way back from the bathroom, I noticed two trails of blood leading all the way back to my room. Both blisters had decided to bleed on me! Thankfully all the floors in the flat are laminate, so I can easily wash it off (blood is a bugger of a stain to get out of carpet). I'm still in so much pain, but no one seems to care.
Quiet day in the office, partially due to the mid-week European fixtures, and partially due to American Thanksgiving Day.
Noticed last night that bar staff around here are completely incompetent. It doesn't take much to serve the person who's been waiting the longest, rather than the person stood closest to the till. It's not the first time this has happened this week. That ranks about number 4 on my top ten list of pet peeves.
Quiet day in the office, partially due to the mid-week European fixtures, and partially due to American Thanksgiving Day.
Noticed last night that bar staff around here are completely incompetent. It doesn't take much to serve the person who's been waiting the longest, rather than the person stood closest to the till. It's not the first time this has happened this week. That ranks about number 4 on my top ten list of pet peeves.
First post
So this is blogging is it? A chance to vent my spleen, open up my inner thoughts, pass on anecdotes about life to anyone who stumbles across my page. I think I should start each addition with my 'drunkeness status', this will help (a) explain any dodgy spelling mistakes and (b) explain any declarations of love, marriage, hatred, vengence, suicidal tendancies or criminal activity.
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