QI versus Quiz Machine

Drunkeness level: 0/5 Tiredness level 4.5/5

Two things have happened since I came to Southampton and spent so much time on my own. Firstly, I've spent a wickedly excessive amount of time in the pub next door to the office playing the pub quiz machine. Secondly I've watched every episode of QI back to back on Youtube (that's about 60 episodes and 3 Christmas specials!). Here is a useful piece of information if you ever find yourself in my situation. QI AND PUB TRIVIA MACHINES DO NOT MIX !

Picture the scene, It's Sunday afternoon, I've just watched 6 episodes of series 3 and need a break. My feeble brain has managed to retain almost every fact that the show has thrown at me, and I'm off to the pub.

"Pint of Fosters please. No that's fine, you can serve that person who arrived 5 minutes after me first...as usual"

"£1.95 please"

"Cheers"

"ooh, three pound coins in my change......quiz machine!"

50p later, a dozen or so questions into a 'game' of Monopoly......"True or False, there are no words that rhyme with Purple in the English language"

Well, Stephen Fry listed at least 3, not half an hour ago, so the answer must be false..... INCORRECT. 50p gone

ok, we'll try again...50p 6 questions into a game of 'Nuts' (don't ask, it's a quiz game based on the lads magazine)

"True or False, your hair grows upto 3cm after death". Well no, Stephen Fry said it only APPEARS like it does because your body shrinks and shrivels up slightly, so clearly it's false.....INCORRECT. 50p gone

AARGGH! Whoever compiles the questions for pub trivia machines, clearly hasn't heard of QI, nor have they got the IQ to do any proper research into their information. Who do I complain to? If I talk to the machine, I'll be bundled into the back of a van with a strait jacket wrapped around me. If I complain to the pub staff, they'll just serve someone else before me. If I write to the machine manufacturers I'll probably get sent an apology six weeks later and a souveneir keyring. Complain to Stephen Fry? It's not his fault, and anyway, he's too busy answering fan-mail from pre-pubescent boys who have illicit fantasies about him.

Still, it's cheaper than playing the fruit machines