Baking Heat, Buses and Breaking By-Laws

What a hectic, and off the wall 48 hours it's been. I can't tell you much about the first half, mainly to preserve someone else's privacy, but I can tell you all about the second day.

It began in baking heat, catching trains to get to Victoria station. Waiting on the platform for me was a tubby Jackie, her hair heading strangely towards blonde (although she claims it's the grey finally coming through). A quick drink in the pub opposite the station (called The Shakespeare if you happen to know London well), and then we nipped off to grab a mini picnic for lunch.

Victoria station has a quite spacious Marks and Spencer food hall, so posh sandwiches and crisps all round. A fresh fruit salad for Jackie, and two cans of Gin & Tonic for me. (yes, they do have Gordon's gin, ready mixed with Schweppes Tonic in a can now). We took them to a small area of grass opposite The Shakespeare. There is a good chance it's called Grosvenor Gardens (well that was then name of one of the roads that ran along side it). It was basically triangular in design, with busy roads on all three sides. A stones throw from the station, but once inside the fence the traffic noise becomes a background hum. Very tranquil considering.

We nibbled away on our tucker, putting the world to rights, discussed the merits of pigeons and how ugly the dog was sat opposite us, and I swigged readily at my can, feeling quite posh to be drinking a G&T. I also took pity on the flying vermin and threw my crusts to the hungry birds.

Jackie then spotted something behind us. A couple sat on the grass were approached by a uniformed police officer. After a brief discussion, he began writing a ticket and the girl of the pair packed away the bottle of wine they had been sharing. It seems it was illegal to drink in public. less than 10 yards away I was still clutching a half drunk can of Gordon's. Such a rebel (although I didn't feel like a rebel, I was petrified he'd already clocked me and I was next on his list of offenders).

Thankfully, after handing over the ticket he disappeared and I could continue my drink.

What followed was equally bizarre. A man in a tour guide uniform brought a group of people into the park and got them to form a circle around him. One by one they came into the circle to be questioned, and after a while smaller circles broke away with other tour operators asking questions. They were all clutching what looked like tourist maps and were frantically trying to memorise something. Eventually I asked one of the people in charge what was happening and got the response:

"It's for the tour company but I can't tell you exactly what. It's top secret I'm afraid". I still don't know what they were doing.

As we left to park to meet the two others who were coming to the concert with us we passed the 'rules and by-laws' board. In very small print there were a list of over 30 do's and don'ts, number 2 being 'Alcohol will not be consumed in this park'....

....number 3 was 'Do not feed the pigeons'.

p.s. The rest of the day would probably only interest you if you were a fan of The Cat Empire, and I'm guessing almost all of you reading this have no idea who they are. They are a group from Australia, who mix music styles from around the world to make very upbeat 'happy' songs and rely heavily on brass instruments for their sound. We caught a bus to the Shepherd's Bush Empire, myself and Jackie sat on the front row of the balcony, our two friends stood in 'the pit'. A late bus back to a flat in Maida Vale and the following morning a bus back to Victoria. Sadly, the last train, from Clapham to the South Coast was heaving. Even Jackie, 6 months pregnant, had to stand for a good proportion of the journey. The weather broke just as I arrived at Southampton too, putting an end to the two days of fun and frolics.