I really don't know where I am again.
I've got my Maltese flatmate and for some stupid reason I'm bending over backwards to make sure he's happy. Anyone else would probably make it clear 'you're in my house, so it's on my terms', but of course I don't do that.
The training is going well, but I'm doing it on auto pilot. God knows if I'm missing something important or if he's taking it all in (he seems to be, so I'm semi confident, but I might not know what I missed til he gets back to the honeycombed chocolate place)
and most importantly I'm back to drinking heavily. That's not meant to sound like a good thing, it's either a symptom or cause of my feelings right now. I have an instinct it's a reaction to the Malta job offer, but coupled with that, the boss has been bombarding me with extra crap.... even though he knows I'm supposed to be teaching a new recruit. I can't get it through to him that he's dragging me, and therefore the rest of the company, down.
..and on top of all this, I'm having a crisis of feelings for someone. That bit I can deal with eventually, but until I do, it will still be a factor in everything I think or do....
...I sometimes wish my brain didn't live in overdrive.
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