The Malteser Snickers

Well I want to call it the Malta Marathon, but thanks to the bloody Yanks, we have to call it Snickers now!

The last Sunday of Feb every year is the date for the Malta Marathon. Not quite on the scale of the London version, but still a large part of the Maltese athletics calendar. Visitors flock to the island from all of the world to take part in this legendary race...

ok, I'm building this up far too much. Yes it's big on the Maltese calendar, and yes, people do come from around the world, but not surprisingly, they only tend to come to take part once. I was reading through an online forum set up after last years event, and almost every comment had the same points. Running half the race along a dual carriage way which hasn't been closed for traffic, running on roads that have bigger potholes than swimming pools, running through areas around the water stations that have turned into ice rinks when there is spilt water (refer to a previous blog entry for me to prove I can sympathise with this point). Basically, it's not a marathon, it's a 26 mile assault course.

The finish line is at the end of Sliema harbour front, and the final 2 miles is along the promenade. For this monumental section, one side of the road is actually cut off from traffic, so they can at least finish without the threat of having a speeding van overtaking them. I was lucky enough to have a 'ringside' seat about 100 yards from the finish line, and considering the temperature at midday was pushing 90 degrees, it just added to the enjoyment that the participants are a bunch of idiots.

One gentleman did actually collapse opposite the pub I was sat outside. I hadn't realised at first, I was too engrossed in my book, I only realised when I saw every other person sat around me stand up to have a nosey look at the scene. 100 yards from the finish and you fall over.....you can't help but laugh. I bet as he was ferried into the back of the ambulance on a gurney he was begging the driver to at least take him through the finish line before carting him off to the hospital.

Do I sound unsympathic? I hope so, because I am. What a joke of an event. Even funnier was participants were told to meet at the finish line at 6.30am this morning, where they would be taken by bus to the start (the bus trip costing them 3 Euros). When they finish, their personal belongings could be collected from the Waterfront Hotel (which they ran past about 2 miles before the finish). No one bothered to tell them they could get to the start on their own for 47c on public transport. I also like the fact that they were warned that 'the roads were not closed, but runners had the right of way, and marshalls would be on hand to control traffic'. What this actually meant was, traffic police treated the runners like cars, and stopped them running at junctions, to allow cars through, then held up the traffic to let runners through. I know I'm not a long distance runner, but I can imagine being held up half way round a marathon circuit would throw me off my routine to some extent!

I can imagine a marathon runner wanting to compete as part of a holiday, or because they are trying to take part in as many different marathons around the world, especially as the weather has been so nice recently, but if anyone came just to take part in this long distance run, I only have one response....

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.