Firstly, I had no intention of going out, or if I was going to venture outside, it was only to the shops. My plans were scuppered though when there was a knock on the door (a very rare occurence because that means the visitor has managed to get into the building, but come up 6 flights of stairs.) It was the maid asking if I wanted the apartment cleaning today, or should she come back another time.
I told her she was welcome to clean now (ok, it meant going out and leaving her to it, but if I sent her away the chances of her actually bothering to come back on a different day were close to zero. Couple this with the fact the flat was in need of a feminine touch. I was happy for her to make me change my plans)
Ok, so I'm going out, but what to do? I only have to be out for a couple of hours, then I can go back to a nice clean pad, and carry on doing the 'nothing' I was intending to do in the first place. It was just past 1.30pm (Malta time) so I decided to walk down to the harbour part of Sliema and have a few pints watching the darts which started at 2pm. I already knew Portside bar would have it on as I saw the advert for it the last time I passed. With me so far?
Ok, got to Portside, ordered a pitcher of local brew (cheaper than buying seperate pints) and settled down in front of three seperate TV sets. The left one seemed frozen on BBC sports from the previous night, the middle one was showing the 4th day of the cricket test and the end one had Eurosport, showing a live ice hockey game. I politely asked the lady behind the bar if I could have the darts on now, but apparently I would have to wait until the cricket ended as they only had one Sky Sports box. (ok, the excuse makes sense, but advertising the darts AND cricket seemed a bit naughty). Hey ho, nothing wrong with watching the cricket instead for a while, especially as England were on top.
..but on the third screen, the ice hockey game ended and Eurosport moved on to 'The Incredible Dogs Eastern USA Championships from Florida'. No, you didn't read that wrong, it's a tournament, divided into separate 'events' for talented dogs. The thing is, this wasn't a shock to me, I've watched it before, and here comes one of those tangents...
...Back in the Isle of Man, when I only worked for the casino at night, I often found myself in The Outback bar in the afternoon, sometimes with only the bar staff for company, or occasionally a few stray friends who also had the day off. On one of these quiet days there were only three or four of us in the place, but this 'Dog Championships' came on the TVs and we were mesmerised. One particular event involved a sort of long-jump competition, but instead of landing in a sandpit they landed in a giant pool of water. To make the scene even more bizarre, the event was called 'Big Air Dogs'. If you were sat in a pub with three or four other blokes, watching a 'legimate' sport but knowing nothing about it, what would you do? Correct. We started putting 50p bets on it!
..and word got around. The next day when we all agreed to meet up again there were eight or nine of us. Some of us were even trying to sound like we were now experts on the sport. There were other events too, the traditional 'agility course' (the one you see at Crufts where they go through tyres, over see-saws and through tunnels etc), a target frisbee catching event, and this time, they even had Jack Russell hurdling. You haven't lived until you've seen eight Jack Russells chasing after a stuffed rabbit, jumping over small plastic fences! I seem to remember that when the dog championships finally finished back in the Isle of Man we resorted to watching the lumberjack world finals instead. Plenty of betting opportunity there as well.
..so there I was in Portside in Sliema, watching dog championships and wishing I was back in the Isle of Man sharing the moment with some fellow dog-sport enthusiasts.
(highlight this time was 'Freestyle Flat Disc' where the owner throws frisbees in a variety of ways for the dog to catch. Both the owner and dog get scored on their performance. Award winning television)
...with all this going on I'd missed the fact that the cricket had ended early for bad light and the nice barlady had switched the channel over to the darts for me! I really have no idea how long I stayed there. I know I watched the end of the darts, I know the dog competition changed to another live ice hockey game, and I know I wasn't there when the Liverpool game kicked off later in the evening. I probably drank far too much (although thankfully you don't get hang-overs with the local beer) and I was starving hungry, but it turned out to be a lovely afternoon of reminiscing. On top of that I got back to find the flat in a lovely state (she'd even lined my teddy bears up on the bed and tucked their paws under the duvet). Basic pasta and sauce for tea, then an early night. Couldn't have asked for much more....
...except if it had been back in The Outback.
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