I am a coward

I've always suspected it, but never owned up to the fact. Now I have proof that I'm a coward.

It all stems from the moral dilemma "What would you do if you heard a woman screaming for help?" Natually, I assumed I'd be the knight in shining armour, and run to her aid, but on Tuesday night I failed the test.

It was exactly 3am. I had been sound asleep, but something had woken me. I thought at first I'd left a horror film playing on my video, or it was music coming from next door, but it wasn't. It was a blood-curdling scream for help, coming from outside my window.

I lay there, still not sure of what I'd heard, but then it happened again. This wasn't a playful scream, or even a drunken woman playing games, this was a real cry for help . And what did I do? Nothing.

I listened intently for other sounds. I half expected to hear male raised voices, or even the sound of a fight, but there was nothing but the woman's intermitent out-crys. I tried sheepishly looking out of my bedroom window, but she must have been directly below me and I could see nothing. I moved into the lounge and tried looking out of the french windows, but I still couldn't see anything.

Then a man appeared from the flats opposite, holding back a huge dog on a leash. He was talking to the person who had been screaming, but he hadn't crossed the road. Conclusion: she wasn't alone, and she wasn't in need of medical attention. Something about the situation was dangerous though, if a man with a huge dog was avoiding approaching.

After that, it all died down. No more voices, no police sirens, no ambulances. I still don't know what actually happened, but all I do know is I didn't even have the guts to step out onto the safety of my balcony to see if anyone needed assistance.

Perhaps I've been too long away from big city life, perhaps IOM has softened me. I just felt so ashamed of not taking positive action. Is is a sign of our decaying society? Or is it just me that is sinking.

I still believe that if the circumstances were different I can still help someone in distress. If I walk along a cliff head and hear 'Help' from below, I know I wouldn't ignore it. If I came across a burning building and 'Help' came from inside, I know I was take some kind of action.

...but at 3am, a cry for help from a woman will remain unanswered because I am a coward.