Just One of Those Days

I've been having one of those days...well one of those weeks really. Lots of contemplating, reminiscing, pondering. Not sure quite where it gets me though.

I was comparing the situation I'm in here in Malta to how I was in Southampton. On the face of it of course I'm better off, cheaper accomodation, higher wages, better weather. Ok, I'm living on a building site, but I was in the UK too. Ok, I have no long standing friends here, but I didn't in Hampshire either. But things are different...

I went up to Manchester on average about every 6 weeks. I nipped over to IOM 4 times in the 20 months I was living in Southampton. Friends came to visit me, Sarah and Caoimhe, Tara, 'The Boys'. There is little chance of any of that here. (especially the visits to IOM). Now I feel far more isolated than I ever did on the South Coast. Chatting to friends online actually feels like a necessity, rather than 'just for fun'. Perhaps this is why I've been having these bizarre dreams for the past few nights - dreaming about people I would never have thought would enter my subconscious. Perhaps I'm just missing friends in general.

It's funny that everyone I talk to tells me to 'get out and see the island'. Why? If I want to see what it looks like I can buy a cheap set of postcards. I don't remember anyone ever telling me to 'get out and see Southampton'. When I moved to IOM way back in 1996 I didn't 'go out and see the rock', I just ended up seeing it all by osmosis. In fact, I'm sure there are some areas in the middle of IOM I never did get to see, particularly as I spent the last few years over there without a car.

If I did spend time travelling around Malta, it would probably only serve to remind me I'm on my own. By locking myself away after work each day, I can make it feel like my life is no different than it's ever been. I have things to look forward to, but they are so far apart they feel like a lifetime away. I can't believe I've already booked to go back to IOM in May. MAY! 7 months away! Not 7 days, or 7 weeks, but 7 months!

Ok, be positive Geoff. You get to see some of your friends in Derby in a month, then meeting baby Emily for the first time a few days after that. Then it's Christmas....

...I wonder if they do microwave Christmas meals for one in the supermarket?...